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'he' was in my dream

Assalamualaikum and Hi

Today's post is a bit personal. Its about a dream I had last night that woke me up few times in the middle of the night.

The dream is nothing horror, but its about a friend whom I'd loved and cherished so much. A very special friend.

I have been trying hard to forget him (yes, its a HE) since he got married last year, 2010, with the intention of 'let him live his life'. Staying away from him is better than being close, because we used to be very closed and after he got married.. I guess both took our own ways.

Its a heartache. for me. having a good friend and all of sudden..we don't talk anymore. having someone to share most of the special events in my life,his life....and suddenly, it just ended like that. DOT.

I've been undergoing a process to 'heal' myself ever since I realize that he wants to end it, which was last year. It was a very constructive process. I feel better everyday by realizing that the world is not just about sharing it with A,ONE good friend. and it's been almost a year now..precisely 10 months.

BUT, until last night..

He was in my dream. He looks just the way he likes to pose in every of his picture-acting cool and calm.hehe. His sharp eyes. The jacket that he likes to wear. He was just looking... this woke me up. Ya Allah...

Ya Allah, why do I have this dream? ...when I rarely dream when I'm dead asleep. Dream might be a play by the setan when we're a sleep. But, why this dream? I could fall to pieces ....

Ya Allah..I've been working very hard to let the memories go, positively looking at the future, going through every single day with those who I believe are my strongest backbones..trying hard not to think of him...because I know, the memories would put me to tears. Knowing him was among the sweetest moment..and now he is not even a step closer to me...He is not mine, he is Yours and You know whats best for both of us. Please Ya Allah, help me to walk a better life everyday. You are the ONLY, ALLAH, who knows every single bit of my life... Make me a stronger person. I have YOU, Ya Allah. I have YOU, Ya Allah.


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