Monday, April 4, 2011

Challenge 1- La Taghdab


Being a woman is not easy. Moods at all time controls us where, perhaps, at the beginning of the month, we may be the most happiest person in the world, as if “ the world is mine”. Then comes the next week, the world suddenly feels like falling apart- sadness surrounds us.

Mood changes, in a normal person, are caused by several reasons. It ranges from environmental to biological and even chemical factors. For instances, drained after 12 hours of working could cause someone to irritate over a small problem such as “ Why do I have to face the traffic jam?” (when the fact is- the route he/she takes is at all time congested during that hour). Research also shown that chemical imbalance in the body such as dopamine, serotonin and others are also contributing factors to mood swing (read from an article).

In many of the emotional states, I believe ANGER is the most disastrous state of feeling that every one of us should have in control. One second of anger could change the whole world, I believe. As an example, if a husband is always in anger, the tendency of violence to happen at home is very high. He could beat the wife to death over a stupid mistake like “Why did you move my stuff?” or “Why did you talk to the neighbour?”. American Institute of Domestic Violence reported in the year 2005 that on average of every 9 seconds, a wife is beaten at home. Why does this happen?

The examples that I have mentioned are examples of husbands who cannot control his anger. Now, this time, let us imagine if the wife switches place with the husband. What could happen?

1. The husband would certainly get stress every time he is at home.

2. No. 1 could lead to miscommunication and break the marriage.

3. No. 2 would certainly affect the children.

4. When a wife is angry, she does not only spill it to the husband, even the children will be burned by her fire.

5. Children who grow up in an unhealthy environment, such as being blamed and yelled everyday is said to be emotionally abused. This leads to more problems in the real world-aggressive, depression or even no emotion at all. (It will be a chained problem)

Even as a teacher, I work as hard as possible to take control of my emotions and my words, especially when I’m dealing with little children. Islam teaches nothing of the bad but always the good deeds. Islam teaches everyone to love each other, it is a religion full of wonders. But what make the image of the religion tainted is the people of its belief, who does not believe whole-heartedly. At most time we read, we learn, yet we do not practice.

One of the hadith from Forty Hadith Imam Nawawi said about controlling the anger (it keeps playing in my mind, that inflicted me to write this topic):

Abu Hurairah, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported that a man said to the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam:

"Advise me! "The Prophet said, "Do not become angry and furious." The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said in each case, "Do not become angry and furious."

[Al-Bukhari; Vol. 8 No. 137]

Anger management is so important that it was recorded by the imams.

Thus, this week, I am inviting everyone to join my weekly challenge- controlling our anger.

It is not just like any other challenge, it is a test and a practice to anger management. Jom!